Most American-born South Asians would agree that strict parenting is embedded in our culture. From early curfews, to study hours, to monitoring prospective suitors and in some cases, even selecting them , being a brown in a progressive country like America can be especially hard. Also Read – Parents vs. While American-born parents tend to be more liberal and easy-going when it comes to parenting, American children born to European, Asian and African immigrants share a similar struggle. Indeed, strict parenting is not only found in the South Asian culture, it is incredibly widespread. Immigrants hailing from countries like China, Japan, Korea, Russia, Poland, Kenya and Nigeria, all tend to raise their American children under a strict set of household rules. And that is just the short list—there are many other countries where a strict approach to parenting is as common as a Starbucks is in Manhattan. Data has consistently shown that Asian and Asian-American students are outperforming their American peers. Experts have long theorized that the academic success of those students may be directly linked to the way in which the children have been raised.
Bringing Home the Wrong Race
Amy Chua, a Yale law professor with two daughters, writes about her Chinese heritage and the way in which it has influenced her parenting choices. Her daughters are not allowed to watch TV or play computer games, have sleepovers or play dates, or get any grade less than an A. Chua claims that these strict policies are the reason why her children have been so successful in school and in their music studies and argues that this type of parenting is common in Asian families.
People have had a strong reaction to her book. Chua’s supporters believe that her parenting methods are justified by the extraordinary academic and musical successes of her two daughters.
Crying was perceived as a private response and so my parents often punishment can be a sad truth for some kids with strict Asian parents.
Some praised her for suggesting that parents should promote a strong work ethic amongst their children; on the contrary, others criticized her for suggesting that parents should force children to excel at all costs. I really wanted to call in but I felt I could only speak of my experiences as a child. Now as a parent, I feel I have come full circle to be able to give a more meaningful perspective. I was that responsible, mature, always does the right thing kid…well at least on the outside.
Other parents would often see my accomplishments, manners, ambition and character, and hope that their own kid would strive to be more like me. I was that kid. Assumptions were often made about my parents…like,.
The difference between an Asian parent and a Western one
By Jeff Yang. CNN Asian-American kids, desperate to gain admission to elite colleges, are now getting coaches to teach them how to be “less Asian. Chat with us in Facebook Messenger.
I’m also very interested in cinematography, editing, and web design. If you have overprotective parents, then you’re familiar with the fight that comes with wanting to go out of the house or hang out with friends without supervision. Depending on how overprotective they are there’s definitely different levels , you may or may not be in for a real fight even if you’re just wanting to go out to see a movie with a bunch of friends. Even though my dad would encourage me to go out, my mom would say, “How dare you want to go out.
You must hate me! Throughout elementary school and middle school, whenever someone asked if I wanted to do something with them, I would ask my mom and she would guilt me into not going. After that, I stopped trying. My friends stopped asking if I could do things, so I became lonely and upset with my mom. I desperately needed to gain my freedom. If you’ve reached the point where you are tired of not being able to go out with friends, or you want more freedom for yourself, the first thing you need to do is ready your mind.
This is crucial.
“Parents just don’t understand” – generational perceptions of education and work
This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. I moved to Canada in , and my parents, being Asian, were very strict about my not dating and, when it came to getting married, only marrying an Asian man. They caught me dating an African-American man and were extremely angry, threatening to cut me off and accusing me of not caring about my family and relatives, and saying they hope I die.
I moved to Canada in , and my parents, being Asian, were very strict about my not dating and, when it came to getting married, only.
Like a good number of Singaporean kids, I grew up in a religious household. My parents met and married in church, then dedicated their lives to bringing up their three children with the same religious education they received. Or any pop culture that involved magic, monsters, and non-human characters. Apparently, exposure to these things would risk us getting possessed by evil spirits. When I was 6, mum snatched my then-favourite Pikachu toy out of my little hands and threw it down the rubbish chute of our flat.
My father tried to coax me back to sleep but I was inconsolable and wailed my lungs out. Sad reacts only. Bad weather? No boyfriend? Better pray harder. No matter how big or small the problem, prayer was always the answer. As an impatient youngling, this was such an unsatisfactory solution to my problems.
What it’s like to grow up with Asian parents
Last Updated: March 21, References Approved. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in There are 24 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
‘My strict Asian parents made me awkward and lonely’ I was lonely during my adolescence and I’d say even more so now because it’s so works, or how to “play the game” at work, or when dating, and in my social life.
Your parents might start bragging about your SAT scores and Mozart-level piano skills. Your parents will remind you of that smart, Yale graduate doctor your auntie has tried to set you up with since you were, like five. The event will induce panicking for a full week beforehand for all parties involved. Your S. From curry and dumplings, to bibimbap and amazing seafood, Asians know how to eat. Mom and dad will be mildly impressed if your S. Keyword: Mildly. GrowingUpAsian when your dishwasher isn’t a dishwasher.
It’s actually a drying rack. They might ask beforehand if your new guy or girl does drugs. But eventually, your parents will come around and overfeed your S. Read more at HuffPost Asian Voices. News U.
Parents Don’t Approve BF/GF Relationship – What to Do
Regardless of why parents set rules teens must learn to live within these guidelines. But what happens if parents are overly strict? Instead, meet your parents in the middle. Ask them to sit down with you to discuss: Every rule under which you operate. The rules that you understand and respect. The rules that you feel are unfair.
I am White European my boyfriend is Asian I am also having trouble to tell my family because they are strict too and have no idea about my dating life being with.
Metea Media May 6, The reason our households are so different is because we were raised on a set of more restrictive rules. It was the generation where gender roles were more prominent than ever. It was the generation that worked their butts off to get where they are today. Our parents believe success comes with more work and little to no play. But in our cases, sometimes what we do is better done and not said.
I got grounded for going to the park-as a child. They never dated, they just admired from afar. Their parents were even more strict and uncomfortable with social lives than they are now. We live in different cultures, different dimensions, and as long as we live under their roofs, we live under their rules and disclose as little information as possible. This article is ridiculous.